Timon of Athens

this honourable lord did but try us this other day.

First Lord
Upon that were my thoughts tiring, when we encountered: I hope it is not so low with him as he made it seem in the trial of his several friends.


Second Lord
It should not be, by the persuasion of his new feasting.


First Lord
I should think so: he hath sent me an earnest inviting, which many my near occasions did urge me to put off; but he hath conjured me beyond them, and I must needs appear.


Second Lord
In like manner was I in debt to my importunate business, but he would not hear my excuse. I am sorry, when he sent to borrow of me, that my provision was out.


First Lord
I am sick of that grief too, as I understand how all things go.


Second Lord
Every man here’s so. What would he have borrowed of you?


First Lord
A thousand pieces.


Second Lord
A thousand pieces!


First Lord
What of you?


Second Lord
He sent to me, sir⁠—Here he comes.



Enter Timon and Attendants.


Timon
With all my heart, gentlemen both; and how fare you?


First Lord
Ever at the best, hearing well of your lordship.


Second Lord
The swallow follows not summer more willing than we your lordship.


Timon
Aside. Nor more willingly leaves winter; such summer-birds are men. Gentlemen, our dinner will not recompense this long stay: feast your ears with the music awhile, if they will fare so harshly o’ the trumpet’s sound; we shall to’t presently.


First Lord
I hope it remains not unkindly with your lordship that I returned you an empty messenger.


Timon
O, sir, let it not trouble you.


Second Lord
My noble lord⁠—


Timon
Ah, my good friend, what cheer?


Second Lord
My most honourable lord, I am e’en sick of shame, that, when your lordship this other day sent to me, I was so unfortunate a beggar.


Timon
Think not on’t, sir.


Second Lord
If you had sent but two hours before⁠—


Timon
Let it not cumber your better remembrance. The banquet brought in. Come, bring in all together.


Second Lord
All covered dishes!


First Lord
Royal cheer, I warrant you.


Third Lord
Doubt not that, if money and the season can yield it.


First Lord
How do you? What’s the news?


Third Lord
Alcibiades is banished: hear you of it?


First Lord

Second Lord
Alcibiades banished!


Third Lord
’Tis so, be sure of it.


First Lord
How! how!


Second Lord
I pray you, upon what?


Timon
My worthy friends, will you draw near?


Third Lord
I’ll tell you more anon. Here’s a noble feast toward.


Second Lord
This is the old man still.


Third Lord
Will’t hold? will’t hold?


Second Lord
It does: but time will⁠—and so⁠—


Third Lord
I do conceive.


Timon

Each man to his stool, with that spur as he would to the lip of his mistress: your diet shall be in all places alike. Make not a city feast of it, to let the meat cool ere we can agree upon the first place: sit, sit. The gods require our thanks.
You great benefactors, sprinkle our society with thankfulness. For your own gifts, make yourselves praised: but reserve still to give, lest your deities be despised. Lend to each man enough, that one need not lend to another; for, were your godheads to borrow of men, men would forsake the gods. Make the meat be beloved more than the man that gives it. Let no assembly of twenty be without a score of villains: if there sit twelve women at the table, let a dozen of them be⁠—as they are. The rest of your fees, O gods⁠—the senators of Athens, together with the common lag of people⁠—what is amiss in them, you gods, make suitable for destruction. For these my present friends, as they are to me nothing, so in nothing bless them, and to nothing are they welcome.

Uncover, dogs, and lap. The dishes are uncovered and seen to be full of warm water.




Some speak
What does his lordship mean?


Some Other
I know not.


Timon

May you a better feast never behold,

You knot of mouth-friends! smoke and luke-warm water

Is your perfection. This is Timon’s last;

Who, stuck and spangled with your flatteries,

Washes it off, and sprinkles in your faces

Your reeking villany. Throwing the water in their faces. Live loathed and long,

Most smiling, smooth, detested parasites,

Courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears,

You fools of fortune, trencher-friends, time’s flies,

Cap and knee slaves, vapours, and minute-jacks!

Of man and beast the infinite malady

Crust you quite o’er! What, dost thou go?

Soft! take thy physic first⁠—thou too⁠—and thou;⁠—

Stay, I will lend thee money, borrow none. Throws the dishes at them, and drives them out.

What, all in motion? Henceforth be no feast,

Whereat a villain’s not a welcome guest.

Burn, house! sink, Athens! henceforth hated be

Of Timon man and all humanity! Exit.




Re-enter the Lords, Senators,  etc.


First Lord
How now, my lords!


Second Lord
Know you the quality of Lord Timon’s fury?


Third Lord
Push! did you see my cap?


Fourth Lord
I have lost my gown.


First Lord
He’s but a mad lord, and nought but humour sways him. He gave me a jewel th’ other day, and now he has beat it out of my hat: did you see my jewel?


Third Lord
Did you see my cap?


Second Lord
Here ’tis.


Fourth Lord
Here lies my gown.


First Lord
Let’s make no stay.


Second Lord
Lord Timon’s mad.


Third Lord
I feel’t upon my bones.


Fourth Lord
One day he gives us diamonds, next day stones. Exeunt.


Act IV

Scene I
Without the walls of Athens.




Enter Timon.


Timon

Let me look back upon thee. O thou wall,

That girdlest in those wolves, dive in the earth,

And fence not Athens! Matrons, turn incontinent!

Obedience fail in children! slaves and fools,

Pluck the grave wrinkled senate from the bench,

And minister in their steads! to general filths

Convert o’ the instant, green virginity,

Do’t in your parents’ eyes! bankrupts, hold fast;

Rather than render back, out with your knives,

And cut your trusters’ throats! bound servants, steal!

Large-handed robbers your grave masters are,

And pill by law. Maid, to thy master’s bed;

Thy mistress